Think about it for a minute. We create, as best we can, kind and rich environments for plants, for pets, for children. We create environments where they can experiment and thrive. With comfort, with enough stimulation and nutrition and care, so that they are free to grow and learn and become.

And I am the product of an imperfect environment. What I mean is, despite my parents doing the best they could, I got some programming in my brain that isn’t helping me thrive. Beliefs that came to me young, beliefs that logic refutes but brain executes, have created behavioural patterns that cause suffering.

Suffering is not virtuous. It’s not a badge of honour. Despair is not motivating. Shame and fear are not motivating.

Kindness IS motivating. Comfort fosters creativity. Change is the direct effect.

Our brains are both incredibly brilliant and incredibly stupid. And our brains are able to change, to learn new things and to execute new behaviour patterns.

I have learned how to change things I thought were unchangeable. The patterns are deeply ingrained in my brain – that’s what I mean by deep work – and I have learned through a lot of trial and error that the fastest way to sustainable change is the practice of moving towards kindness.